


if not for you

by molgera (orphan_account)



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Cuddling, Fluff, M/M, New Year's Eve, New Year's Kiss, Van Days
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-05-10 23:27:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5604913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/molgera
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As 2003 draws to a close Pete takes it upon himself to help his two oblivious best friends realize they kinda totally love each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	if not for you

**Early December, 2003**

“Dude, how are we gonna get to New York now?”

“We’ll figure it out. I think Pete said he might have found something close by. Used, kinda beat up. Still runs, though.” Fucking Andy and his ability to remain calm in any situation.

“New rule: no more filming music videos in the winter.” Pete laughed while one of the guys poured salt on the table to represent the snow, trying to recreate the accident with pencils and a pepper shaker. 

“I think I’m gonna go outside and get some fresh air.” Joe scooted out of the booth, locking eyes with Andy for a second before heading toward the diner entrance. Once he was outside he leaned against the wall, eventually letting himself slide down into a sitting position on the cement, resting his head between his knees.

“This is so fucked up,” Joe muttered to himself under his breath. He sat there for a few minutes, not moving until he heard the jangle of the bells and the door opening.

“You alright?” came a small voice that could only belong to one person. Fucking Andy.  

“Yeah, I just… I don’t know. Needed a minute to freak out? I can’t stop thinking about how fucked up this all is. You and Pete could have died.” Andy sat down next to Joe, putting his hand on his shoulder reassuringly.

“But I didn’t. Pete’s okay, I’m okay,” he said, squeezing Joe’s shoulder. “I’m okay. Promise.”

 

**Mid December, 2003**

Andy woke up in the back of the (new) van to the sound of Joe’s voice and rubbed his eyes. It was still dark outside; Patrick was driving and Pete was fast asleep in the passenger seat. Andy fixed his attention back on Joe, whose head was jerking back and forth while he mumbled  “no” over and over.

“Hey, Joe. Wake up.” Andy shook him by his shoulder gently, eyes having finally adjusted to the dark. Joe opened his eyes wide and looked at Andy. “You alright? You were talking in your sleep.”

“Nightmare. Thanks for waking me up.” Joe pulled his sleeping bag around himself a little tighter and bit his lip.

“Wanna talk about it?” Andy said softly.

“Not really, I don’t know. I just keep dreaming of the accident, except every time you and Pete are dead and I just wish I could stop seeing it. Sometimes I wake up and it feels so real, you know?”

“I’m sorry. I’m here though, Pete too.” Andy jerked his head in the direction of the passenger seat where Pete was snoring quietly.

Andy reached out and held his hand against Joe’s cheek. “Fuck, that’s cold.” Joe reached out of his sleeping bag, covering Andy’s hand with his own, glad to feel anything that reminded him that this was reality and his friends weren’t dead.

"I’m glad you’re here,” Joe said, pulling Andy’s hand off his cheek and lacing their fingers together, hoping that this time the nightmares wouldn’t come.

 

**Late December, 2003**

“Fuck.” Joe leaned against the brick wall outside the venue for the night’s show, cursing the bitter cold and rolled his eyes. “God damn winter in Detroit, I think my balls are frozen.” He paused, taking another drag from his cigarette and looked over at Andy, clearly better prepared for the cold wrapped in a warm fleece lined jacket and a scarf that covered his face to keep the smoke from Joe’s cigarette from reaching him. Joe felt a pull in his chest at the sight, which he was absolutely not ready to address and dropped his cigarette, stomping it out on the pavement.

“You should quit, you know,” Andy said, lowering the scarf for a second before wrapping it around his face again.

“Yeah, yeah… I know,” Joe said, nodding and waving his hand dismissively. “Bad habits and all that. Fuck, I’m freezing,” he said, rubbing his hands together in a feeble attempt to generate heat.

Andy was still looking at Joe, but this time he swore something about it was different. Joe blinked a few times and shook his head. Probably just his imagination.

Andy laughed, burying his face further into his jacket and scarf cocoon and fished around in his coat pockets, looking for something, eventually pulling out a pair of black gloves and offering them to Joe, his face lighting up almost instantly.

“Have I told you lately you’re the best? Because you’re the best.”

“It’s nothing, really,” Andy said, lowering his scarf again, the corners of his mouth quirking upwards into a half smile. “Can’t have your fingers falling off when we’ve got a show to play.” Joe slipped the gloves on and started walking out of the alley towards the back door of the venue with Andy following suit.

Once they were inside Andy headed for the dressing room and plopped down on the couch. Joe sat down next to him, deliberately keeping a little distance between the two of them while he shoved his gloved hands underneath his legs in an attempt to bring some feeling back into his hands, nose still tinged pink from the cold.

Andy looked at him, shaking his head and beckoning him over towards the other end of the couch. “C’mere, stupid,” he said, extending his arm and pulling Joe into a one armed hug.

Joe huffed dramatically. “Hey, that’s not very nice.” He scooted over towards Andy anyways, relaxing into him, trying to ignore the backflips his stomach was doing.

“I’m trying to warm you up, asshole,” Andy said, breaking into a grin.

Joe buried his face into the crook where Andy’s neck met his shoulder and sighed contentedly, closing his eyes, feeling more relaxed than he had all day. Andy leaned his head so it was resting on top of Joe’s, humming something Joe didn’t recognize.

Joe couldn’t gauge how much time had passed, not wanting to leave his position to check the time. Eventually, Andy broke the silence. “Never thought I’d be here.”

“Be where?” Joe said, pulling away from Andy’s shoulder and looking at him confusedly.

“Like, playing shows all over the country… in a band with my best friends. Used to think this shit was just a pipe dream.” Andy turned his head to face Joe, who was smiling, cheeks flushed pink. Andy couldn’t tell if his face was chapped from the wind or he was blushing, but he didn’t care.

“Here, give me your hands,” Andy said, reaching out to take Joe’s into his own. “You’ll warm up faster this way.”

“Thanks,” Joe said, burying his face into Andy’s shoulder once more, making a mental note to find a way to thank Andy. _God damn perfect asshole always looking out for everyone._

“You’re the best too, you know. Even if you fucking forget to buy gloves and a jacket that’ll actually keep you like, warm.”

“Love you too, dumbass.”

Joe smiled, leaning against Andy again and decided he could wait to deal with his feelings until tomorrow.

 

**New Years Eve, 2003**

“You invited _how_ many people?” Patrick said incredulously, mouth hanging open while he stared at Pete in disbelief.

“Like, thirty? I dunno.” Pete shrugged and turned back to the stove where he was cooking bacon and eggs but Patrick wasn’t having any of it.

“That totally violates like, some safety code. It’s a fire hazard. If we get busted the landlord is gonna be so pissed. Do you ever think _anything_ through?”

“Dude, it’s gonna be fine. I’ve got it covered. Here, try this,” Pete said, shoving a piece of bacon into Patrick’s mouth.

“Fine, whatever. If we get in trouble you’re taking the blame though.”

“Yeah, yeah. You’re welcome for the bacon by the way."

Patrick rolled his eyes and sighed. “You’re unbelievable, you know that right?” The shit eating grin Pete gave him was almost enough to make him laugh. Almost.

 -

By eight o’clock most of the people Pete invited had arrived. It wasn’t thirty people but it was definitely more than should ever be in their tiny apartment. Pete climbed on top of the couch and stood up to address everyone. “Alright, keg’s over there, my iPod is hooked up to the stereo if anyone wants to change the music. Snacks are in the kitchen. If anyone needs anything after ten don’t bother ‘cause I’ll be too drunk to help you.”

Joe immediately made a beeline for the keg, filling a plastic cup with whatever cheap beer Pete managed to afford with their pooled funds.

“Ugh, gross,” Joe winced before taking another sip. “This shit sucks.” Patrick grabbed a cup, filling it while he listed to Joe complain.

“Can we fast forward to the part where we’re famous enough to afford beer that’s like, actually good?” Patrick snorted and smacked Joe upside the head playfully.

“Dude, alcohol is alcohol. Once you’re drunk enough you won’t even care.” Joe nodded solemnly and raised his cup in a faux toast, tapping it against Patrick’s.

“Cheers to that.”

-

By eleven almost everyone was drunk minus Andy, who had made himself at home by Pete’s iPod, swatting Joe’s hand away every time he tried to change the song.

“We’ve listened to Bohemian Rhapsody like, five times already,” Andy protested.

“It’s a fucking great song,” Joe refuted, sitting next to Andy on the couch. He wasn’t wasted but he was drunk enough that his cheeks were flushed and he was latching on to whoever was nearest to him. Normally Andy didn’t mind babysitting his friends when they were drunk but Joe being handsy coupled with his crush on his bandmate wasn’t boding very well for him.

“You should change the song… because you love me.” Joe said, looking at Andy with bright eyes, a smile plastered across his face.

“I think it’s time for bed,” Andy said. Now he was the one with flushed cheeks, his blush spreading to the tips of his ears.

“But what about my New Year’s kiss?” Joe said earnestly, still beaming at Andy like he was the best thing he’d ever seen.  

“Okay, it’s _definitely_ time for bed.” Andy stood up, extending his hand towards Joe, pulling him up and slinging an arm around his shoulder.

“Oh fuck,” Joe said, clapping a hand to his forehead and resting most of his weight on Andy while he allowed himself to be walked back to his bedroom. “I’m dizzy.”

“That is a thing that happens when you drink sometimes.”

"I am _so_ drunk,” Joe said, drawing out his words emphatically. Andy turned the knob on Joe’s door, flipping the light switch and helping Joe over to his bed.

“Stay here, I’ll be right back.” Andy left for a few minutes and returned with a glass of water and some aspirin. “Take these, you’ll thank me in the morning.”

Joe swallowed down the aspirin and pulled his duvet over him, thanking Andy over and over.

“You… you’re the best friend ever.”

Andy got up and moved the trashcan next to Joe’s bed. “Just in case,” he said in response to the look on Joe’s face. “And I’m not that great, I’d do the same for Patrick or Pete.”

“Still think you’re the best,” Joe mumbled half into his pillow.

“You too. G’night Joe.” Andy turned around slowly and headed for the door, turning off the light and pausing at the threshold.

“Andy,” Joe whined, dragging out the last syllable. “Stay. Don’t wanna be alone.”

“Fine, but just until you’re asleep, alright?”

“‘Kay.” Andy sat on the bed next to Joe, putting his hand on his shoulder, feeling Joe’s hand snake up to cover his own.

“I like when you stay,” Joe said. Andy wasn’t entirely sure how to respond to that, so he just sat there, silence eventually giving way to Joe's soft snoring.

When the clock struck midnight and Andy heard the noisemakers and fireworks from outside he realized he could have left and gone to his own room ages ago. Instead, he was squished next to Joe on a twin-sized mattress, wondering when the hell he had fallen in love with his best friend, or if he could even pinpoint it to a specific moment.

Joe rolled over and looked at Andy blearily, the room bathed in a dull light from the streetlamps outside.

“Hey,” Joe said. Andy’s eyes were closed but he could hear the smile in Joe’s voice. “You stayed.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I did.” Joe threw an arm over Andy, buried his face against his chest and fell asleep.

 

**New Year’s Day, 2004**

Andy woke up in Joe’s bed alone the next morning, cursing himself for letting his emotions get the better of him.

“Should have gone back to my room, fucking… stupid.” He muttered to himself and fumbled for his glasses on the floor next to Joe’s bed.

“You’re not stupid and you shouldn’t have.” Joe sat up from his place on the floor. “I think I fell out of bed at some point. But anyhow, you shouldn’t have left.”

Andy looked at Joe, suddenly unable to speak.

“So… are you still down for that New Year’s kiss?”

“I, you… what?” Andy cocked his head in confusion. Joe gestured at Andy and then himself.

“You. Me. Kiss. You _do_ like me right? I will fucking kill Pete if he was fucking with me.”

“Yeah I… wait, Pete _told you_? That was supposed to be a secret. I’m gonna kick his fucking ass, I swear to God.” Joe clambered up onto the bed, moving towards Andy.

“Told me he was sick of seeing you mope. I guess I’ve just been oblivious. I do want to though. Kiss you, I mean. Did last night too but it’s better now that I’m sober.”

Andy groaned, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t wanna fuck things up, that’s why it was supposed to be a secret. I don’t wanna ruin this band if shit doesn’t work out.”

For the first time Joe was the one trying to help Andy calm down. “We’ll make it work. Promise. Can I kiss you now though? I’m kind of dying over here.”

Joe leaned over and brushed his lips against Andy’s tentatively and pulled back. “You’re thinking too loudly. Kiss now, think later.”

Andy finally found himself able to speak again. “I love you.” Joe figured that was incentive enough to bring his hand to the back of Andy’s neck, pulling him forward into a kiss. When he finally had to pull away to breathe Andy was there looking at him, smiling his stupid fucking perfect smile.

“I know.”

It was going to be a good year.

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! i haven't written anything in over half a year and i kept thinking about how there aren't enough trohley fics so here is my first contribution to a ship that deserves WAY more fics tbh
> 
> title is from the george harrison song of the same name
> 
> feel free 2 follow me on tumblr on my fall out boy blog (gutsandglory) or my main (vulgarian)


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